Not All Peaches And Cream

Today, I let my selfishness get the better of me. Today, I pushed when I should have pulled. Today, I missed an opportunity to help.

My husband is a big dreamer. He eats, drinks, breaths, and sleeps his dreams. I'm not talking about Mr. Alex in Wonderland kind of dreams, I'm talking about his dreams of seeing himself where he wants to be. Beautiful home, healthy kids, a vacation to spend with just his wife, and a sporty airplane with himself as the pilot. It's almost like a hobby for him to imagine that day.

But there are those days when I see him letting go of those dreams. I do want him to believe that his life is beautiful today, in the present, but it hurts to see him say, "Oh, well" to his bigger dreams. When I see him giving up, I jump into a state of panic. Like today. He was about to leave the house with an attitude of "whatever happens happens, I can't do anything about it" and I stopped him. With all the temptations out their to give up and quit I couldn't let him leave the house already giving up. So I pounced. Not the good kind of pounce either. I used vicious words to get his attention. I tried to use words to get him to fight back, to prove me wrong. What good is that? How can negative words ever help someone?

It's not all peaches and cream. Some days I wake up frustrated and angry and all I want to do is blame someone else for making me fear the unknown. If I can't look at someone without getting frustrated then maybe I am taking the wrong action. Maybe opposition in all things means that when I want to scream, I should laugh or when I want to push away I should pull close. Maybe when all I feel is negative, I should oppose that with all my might. That way, when things are good for me, I can clear the path for them.

It may not make sense but without tasting the bad, peaches and cream wouldn't be so good.

Challenge: Make something delicious for your hubby tonight.