One on One

When my husband was 20 years old he was challenged to a one on one game of basketball by a wealthy business man 3 times his age. They played a well fought game with my husband leading most the game, but not by much. Eventually the game ended when the wealthy man tied the game and then walked off the court. I don't know if that man was a sore loser or trying to prove a point.

I've often thought about that story and why it meant so much to my husband. It was a memory he will never forget. It was hard for me to understand why, until the other day. After months and months of working on a certain project, my husband was blown off. Normally, this wouldn't bother me, it's part of the game. But I was suddenly drawn to the story with the wealthy businessman. I had been focusing on the wrong part of the story. I didn't even realize that my husband had not been focusing on the minor detail that he didn't win, but on the game itself. I realized that the best way for my husband to get through the hacking, fouling, shoving aspects of this business, he needed to see who he was becoming because of the game.

My husband is a business man and he works hard in every possible way. He makes phone calls, meets up with people, shows respect to those who have gone before him, and remains honest in an otherwise questionable environment. He runs errands, works with all kinds of jerks, and continually humbles himself. He would not brag about what he does or burn any bridges. Although he has times when he feels injured or benched, he is the guy I want playing when times get tough because he has been through it. He continues to go through it everyday. It doesn't matter how it ends, what matters is that he remained honest, upfront, and never gave up. What matters is that his character is in tact and his heart is still pounding with the knowledge that he fought his best.

Challenge: Grab a basketball, volleyball, soccer ball, baseball or whatever you like best and play with your husband, one on one :)

Past Judgement

I passed judgement! I passed it swiftly, too swiftly. My husband and I were talking and I said that he thought he was better then someone. The look on his face revealed the truth. His face went confused and then turned to concern and then he spoke gently, "I have never thought that." He looked hurt and I felt a small gavel slam in my chest. I had misjudged him.

Lucky for me, my husband didn't take offense but I kept thinking about that conversation. It wasn't an argument it was just a passing conversation and although it was small in significance, it was moment of realization for me. How often have I grabbed a symbolic gavel in my life and slammed it down without saying a word? Had I done this many times before with my husband without checking my facts?

I know I have done this many times and it has probably caused myself and him much pain. Now, I don't think I should say whatever I feel in the moment but I should definitely use my personal judgement and empathy to decide if my feelings are warranted.

I am finding judgement to be a personal journey for me. It is an essential part in a humans physical and spiritual growth. It keeps us from running out in the street, or going into an unsafe place. It can tell us when we've gone to far or missed an opportunity. It is just as important for me to pass judgement as it is for me to overrule judgements. When it comes to my husband, we can compare and contrast judgments. In the end, it is those judgements that help us find the middle ground.

Challenge: Use your judgement this week and ask your husband what he is thinking before you pick up the gavel.


Photo by scottamus on flickr

Sending It Out

I have believed for some time that if you send positive energy out you will receive positive energy back. It is truly the work of the spirit that connects us all. There is a connection that is only pure within the walls of our body and mind that swells when we are doing something good. It is ultimately why I started this blog.


My husband has that spiritual swelling when he has a conversation with others. I don't even thinks he knows it, but when he speaks to those he meets I can almost see that person become lighter as they talk to him. For instance, the other day, he went into an office to basically ask for a favor. He said when he walked in the woman at the desk was in a bad mood and did not want anything to do with him. When I asked how the interaction ended he said that she warmed up to him and told him she would do what she could to help.


Now if that were me, I'd have left that office with a story about a mean ol' lady! He truly has a gift. I think it is because of the knowledge I've gained from watching him over the years that has taught me that what you send out, you can receive.


Challenge: Find out what your husband is good at and ask him to teach you how to become better at that skill. Let him be the expert.

Photo by gunnel